Thursday, June 16, 2016

SHOULD YOU TELL SOMEONE YOU'VE FALLEN OUT OF LOVE?


One of my cousins was married at an early age to someone she met in a grocery store, and for a while things were great.  Eventually, her husband became verbally abusive and emotionally distant.  Most of her relationship was filled with tears, anger, frustration and deep regret.  She gained weight and became a shadow of her former self.  Being degraded, cheated on, treated badly and ignored, she emailed me one day to say that she resented her husband, and every time she looked at him, she became livid. Thoughts of his secret phone calls, lies, trysts, verbal mistreatment and constant denials had finally caused her to reach her threshold.  At one time, he even threatened to have her committed.YIKES!

After three years and no improvement, she came to the realization that she no longer loved the man she married, and struggled with telling him how she really felt.


One day, she looked around the house, packed up the things that were important, scheduled disconnections of anything that was in her name, had her phone number changed, and left.  For the first time in a long while she felt empowered and was able to smile, but she still never actually said the words, "I don't love you anymore" out loud.  I'm no expert, but it made me wonder, even if there is no abuse or cheating - does it really matter? Will it make a difference?  Are you afraid of hurting that person's  feelings? Is there just a sense of peace?

MUSIC
Just 23, Nick Jonas is a cutie, and I can't stop listening to "Close" on the radio, the computer, or Pandora. Something about that song is catchy and makes me want to sing along every time I hear it.  What about you? Do you have a favorite song that won't get out of your head?

JUNE
In addition to being Fathers' Day this Sunday, June is also National Adopt a Cat Month - Yay!  For those who like or want to eat healthy, it's National Fruit and Vegetables Month.  Don't forget it's Gay Pride Month, Candy Month and Turkey Month, too! 



14 comments:

  1. If I felt like that I would leave too. I've been with Ken for 25 years and I couldn't have stayed that long if my feelings had changed.

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    1. Wow! 25 years of marriage these days is pretty amazing! Kudos to you guys. Hugs...

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  2. YES. Don't waste your life being unhappy. Don't be an asshole and cheat on the other person. That ain't cool, man. Save yourselves the drama.

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    1. True that, Joyous Joy! Hugs...

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  3. Hmmm, very interesting question Ro! I think that if we fall out of love with someone, then it's for respect for that other person that we should tell them. I'm pretty sure a convo like that is never going to be easy to bring up but in the l ing run, it'll save for less stress. <3 And YASS Nick Jonas!!! xoxoxo

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    1. Very true! I totally agree with showing respect, but my cousin was just so angry, that she lost control of who she used to be as a person. Not that this made it right. (lol) I spoke to her last night, and she's been gone for a month now. Finally has gathered the courage to tell him the truth of why she up and left with no warning. I think that gives some closure for her, so she can move on peacefully. Hugs.... and glad you stopped by. Be blessed!

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  4. In your cousin's situation where it's just well and fully done than leaving is definitely the best solution. I have though seen too many marriages end because one spouse or the other wasn't feeling it but there was never any effort to try and get that connection back. Obviously I'm not talking about an abusive relationship or other situation but if there's kids I think you should try to fix what's flat lined instead of giving up immediately. I've seen in my own family that people give up too easily. However, if you've tried and it's not working or you're the only one that's trying than it's time to go. I'm very in favor of this national candy month. This is something I can celebrate!

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    1. I'm like you, and seriously believe in the sanctity of marriage and not giving up easily, and despite trying, and remaining loyal, she couldn't do it all on her own. He lied so much that she finally lost respect, and it didn't appear that he was willing to make the effort to give up the other woman, but even worse, treat her as a valued human being. People seem eager to get married, not understanding that it takes time, effort and commitment. I love talking to people who have been married for 30-40 years, still hold hands and laugh. These are the people who were willing to do whatever it took to stay together. Love hearing your thoughts, and you're the best! Hugs...

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  5. I have a cousin who is recently divorced because of this situation. It took him a long time to open up and talk about it. He said they weren't making each other happy, and while he wanted to keep trying, she wanted to move on. I feel bad for him. This is not where he wanted to be in his life right now -- living in an apartment alone. I only hope that he will move forward and discover love with someone who loves him back.

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    1. It's definitely a horrible situation, and I'm sorry for your cousin as well. As a romance reader, I'd really like to believe in happily ever afters, but based on the people I've met, it just doesn't happen as I'd like. I hope the love of a lifetime finds your cousin soon. Hugs...

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  6. I didn't know it was fruit&Veggie or candy month. I feel like I need to celebrate both of those this weekend :D

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  7. I want to thank Dr.Agbazara for his job in my family, this is man who left me and the kids for another woman without any good reasons, i was pain and confuse,till one day when i was browsing through the internet with my computer then i saw Dr.Agbazara contact, then i contaced him and he help me cast a reunion spell, since I then the situation has changed, everything is moving well, my husband who left me is now back to his family. reach DR.AGBAZARA TEMPLE via email if you have any relationship problem at:

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    1. Wow! This is super interesting!

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