Friday, July 22, 2016

CAN WE TALK ABOUT SEX? (Mini-rant)


It's almost 2017, and we're still talking about sexual harassment!  For some reason, CEO's, Directors, Producers, Actors, Chairmen, and more feel a sense of entitlement when it comes to what can be communicated or done to women in the workplace. They don't feel bad about it either, until they get caught.   Even then, those fingers are firmly pointed towards the victims in blame.


I saw the 1994 blockbuster movie Disclosure with Demi Moore and Michael Douglas and was horrified, but I didn't think it actually happened in real life. Of course, I totally loved the ending!



When Gretchen Carlson filed a lawsuit against Roger Ailes, and Fox tried to fight back by saying she was just a disgruntled worker, I knew it was only a matter of time before the real story came out.  It didn't take long before other women came forth with similar claims against the 76 year old, some going back all the way to the 60's.  

But the one who appeared to be more credible  to the world it seems, was my girl Megyn Kelly, who just happens to be an attorney. Then all hell broke loose.  Yay!


Let's not forget our pudding friend, Bill Cosby, who had the hearts of all Americans.  This man cheated on his wife and had another child, then we find out he's being charged with three (alleged) aggravated indecent sexual assault against 1 woman, but there are a ton more complaints from other women.  I'm always willing to give the benefit of the doubt, but if more than 5 women are consistently saying the same thing - Houston, we now have a problem.


Because you are rich or in a position of power does not give you the right to say or do what you want to satisfy your personal needs or desires. There are supposed to be boundaries. Unwanted sexual innuendos, promotions received as some sort of payment for wrongdoings by the alleged perpetrator, intimidation tactics, and other shady dealings that are swept under the carpet, are all ridiculous.  No, Mr. Boss, I do NOT want you massaging my neck, or rubbing on my leg, dang it, and your breast jokes suck!


Sexual harassment and assault are more forms of abuse, control and manipulation.  Covert sexual hinting, patting someone on the butt,  making unwanted advances towards women, invading someone's personal space enough to be uncomfortable and creepy, drugging them to have sex, and a whole lot more is not cute.  Even worse, it's dang illegal!

Here's the definition from the EEOC:
Sexual Harassment
"It is unlawful to harass a person (an applicant or employee) because of that person’s sex. Harassment can include “sexual harassment” or unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature.
Harassment does not have to be of a sexual nature, however, and can include offensive remarks about a person’s sex. For example, it is illegal to harass a woman by making offensive comments about women in general.
Both victim and the harasser can be either a woman or a man, and the victim and harasser can be the same sex.
Although the law doesn’t prohibit simple teasing, offhand comments, or isolated incidents that are not very serious, harassment is illegal when it is so frequent or severe that it creates a hostile or offensive work environment or when it results in an adverse employment decision (such as the victim being fired or demoted).
The harasser can be the victim's supervisor, a supervisor in another area, a co-worker, or someone who is not an employee of the employer, such as a client or customer."

Definition of Aggravated Indecent Assault

Title 18, Section 3125 defines aggravated indecent assault as when the accused penetrates the sexual organ or anus of the alleged victim. The statute requires that the act is done without the victim's consent, by force, by threat of force, when the victim is unconscious or when the victim is otherwise not aware the penetration is happening, if the victim has been drugged, if the victim has a mental disability, if the victim is younger than 13 or if the victim is younger than 16 and the accused if four or more years and the accused and the victim are not married.
Aggravated indecent assault is different, legally, than rape and sexual assault because both those charges involve what the law narrowly defines as "sexual intercourse." Under the law, sexual intercourse is limited to a sexual organ penetrating either another sexual organ or the anus. Under aggravated indecent assault, a broader set of circumstances might meet the definition of the charge.

20 comments:

  1. Yeah, using power to hold sexual innuendoes or unwanted touches (or worse) over other people is utterly disgusting to me, too, Ro! And it kind of seems as if it's getting worse, not better, which is a very scary thought!
    Great post :)
    Lexxie @ (un)Conventional Bookviews

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    1. Hey There Lexxie, you can probably tell I'm on the warpath with this nonsense! What in the heck is going on? Hugs... and Happy Friday!

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  2. "Because you are rich or in a position of power does not give you the right to say or do what you want to satisfy your personal needs or desires."

    That's exactly right.

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    1. Sad state of affairs when people feel like that, Mary. Hugs...

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  3. Rant away! Just heard about the Roger Ailes thing and it riled me up to see that. Thank you, Ro!

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    1. That whole situation is nuts, right?

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  4. Rant away. It bothers me when workplaces try to sweep it under the carpet.

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    1. I know, right? Even today, people think that stuff can be hidden, or that it's ok. Hugs...

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  5. This is an important issue -- and an important post.

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    1. Thanks Angela, and hope your Sunday is going well! Hugs...

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  6. I'm not the biggest fan of Gretchen or Megan Kelly for that matter, but at times like these, gloves come off. Women all over the world need to keep fighting together against the sexually aggrieved especially in the work place. I mean, not only women, but men alike. We don't think that it happens, but it does. We just don't hear about it.

    Great post, Ro.

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    1. You are so right, Joy! What makes people think this type of behavior is ok for anyone to have to deal with? Crazy!

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  7. My 19 year old daughter is performing in a community theater production of Grease this summer. I am very proud of her (she plays Pink Lady Marti), and the show is fun, of course, and full of great music. But watching the performance last night, I was uncomfortably aware of how women are sexualized in this show -- how in Rizzo's emotional solo, one of "the worst things she could do is flirt with all the guys" and "refuse to follow through." Um ... consent ...

    Back when Grease the movie came out, my mother expressed her disgust at how Sandy changes her appearance at the end of the movie to please Danny. I said, "Yeah, but he changes too. He gets the letterman jacket for her." My Mom replied, "And look how he rips it off."

    Years later, I'm seeing the whole thing through my mother's eyes. In the stage show, Danny doesn't even get the jacket. He punches out the coach.

    The mental attitude that fosters sexual harassment starts early and is fostered in popular media.

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    1. Wow! That's a powerful message, and one I've never paid attention to. I agree that we were probably conditioned as young people to accept certain things that are definitely not ok. I'm just sick that this stuff is still happening, and people think it's ok. I do have to give some kudos to your daughter for getting the role and performing it LIVE. What a wonderful accomplishment! Hugs...

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  8. It's awful when men or women do that in the workplace. I wouldn't say it's limited to the rich either. Just because you own a business or are a boss doesn't mean you're rich.

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    1. You're right, Anna. A lot of bosses have the power, but are just getting started in business. Great point! Hugs...

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  9. It IS sad that this exists!And Ro, I don't think it's going to go away anytime soon. It can come from male or female so really no one is safe. I don't know why some people can't seem to keep their hands to themselves. ASK a person out and get to know them before you cross that line... but the sad fact of it all is, is that most people don't think like this...

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    1. You are right. It could sadly happen to anyone. Crazy!

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  10. People don't realize how prevalent this STILL is. I watch Big Brother's live feeds and one of the houseguests was harassing some of the women in the house--calling them fat, slapping them on the butt, etc. In a forum, I spoke up about it and I was SHOCKED at the things people were saying. Women were even worse than men at victim blaming. "Those women walk around in bathing suits all day. It's their fault they're harassed." And, "Those women just need to suck it up and stop being babies." THIS is why men get away with it...people don't want to believe women when they say it happens to them and women are our own worst enemies.

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    1. Wow! That is crazy!Sometimes I wish we were more united in these type of scenarios so people could understand. So very sad...

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