Tuesday, November 5, 2013


Gary Chapman, quotes the following statement:
"You do not help an abusive spouse when you act as though the harsh words do not hurt you. The answer, however, is not to lash back, to retaliate with your own verbal abuse. The answer is to acknowledge that you have been wounded and need help. You need to remind your spouse that you are also human and that abusive words cut you deeply."
Have you been publicly humiliated, lied on so many believe it's all your fault, called profane names,  told you were ugly, fat or useless, or yelled at for no reason, over and over and over again, causing your self-esteem to be at an all time low?  Even if your significant other is not hitting you physically, and there are no marks on your body - yes, you are still being abused emotionally.  This type of abuser justifies the action by telling you and others that he/she isn't hitting you, so it's ok.
It doesn't matter if you've been in a relationship for a month or 15 years, or you're 17  or 57, this behavior does not exhibit a loving and caring relationship. It's not too late to live a life of enchantment and fulfillment, even if it means being alone, or your children have only one parent.
Of course, most of us would find it difficult to simply pack up and leave.  And you may be afraid to make it on your own, particularly if you have no income.  Maybe you'll wonder what people will say.  But if you take a moment to write down the pros and cons on a piece of paper, you may realize that for your own sanity and well-being, it's best to move on. This is even more true if there are children involved. 
When you can, gather your courage and call someone at a domestic abuse shelter, or a pastor, who will talk to you about your feelings and the best course of action to take for you and/or your family.
Take that first step.  Eventually the smiles will come back, the tears will dry up, and you'll be able to walk proudly with your head up.  I believe in you, and remember - Love Should Never Hurt.


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