This post is one of my most popular and speaks of my focus on breaking the silence tied to the dangers of domestic violence.
When it comes to emotional abuse, friends and family struggle with the danger involved because there are no visible bruises. In fact, many believe that abusers prey only on the weak, but the reality is that they seek out those who are attractive and exhibit confidence, yet may be going through a bad time, making the potential victim more vulnerable.
Emotional abusers display the "charm syndrome" to get their way using the sheer force of their charismatic personalities to manipulate someone. This trait is why many people are usually so surprised to find out the truth.
Even worse, when the abuser switches from charm to anger, it's confusing because he/she isn't that way all of the time. Because of the lies being told to others, and the ability to convince you that you're at fault, doubts about what's going on become the norm, making you question your own judgement. This creates a vicious cycle, making it even more difficult to leave. Then there is the fear.
But the abuser is a person who may have been abused, or enjoys the feeling of power and control when hurting someone. This person has many insecurities that may not be readily visible, and causing you to suffer.
Emotional abuse is absolutely considered domestic violence, so please speak to someone you trust about what is going on.
Emotional abuse includes being cheated on or lied about, gaslighting, being degraded publicly or privately, having funds withheld or being threatened. If there's no one you trust, contact a domestic violence shelter which has people available 24 hours a day to offer assistance and/or counseling.
You don't deserve to be belittled and humiliated, or to make excuses any longer for someone who's supposed to be in love with you. You shouldn't have to walk on eggshells in any situation. Please seek help for you and your family, when you feel that you can safely.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline is: 800-799-7233
If you live in Wake County, NC Call InterAct: 919-828-3005
If you love in Harnett County, NC Call Safe: 910-893-7233
Someone is available at these numbers 24 hours a day, and they are available to offer support and guidance.