Tuesday, December 15, 2015

ARE YOU WALKING ON EGGSHELLS?

This post is one of my most popular and speaks of my focus on breaking the silence tied to the dangers of domestic violence.

When it comes to emotional abuse, friends and family struggle with the danger involved because there are no visible bruises.  In fact, many believe that abusers prey only on the weak, but the reality is that they seek out those who are attractive and exhibit confidence, yet may be going through a bad time, making the potential victim more vulnerable.

Emotional abusers display the "charm syndrome" to get their way using the sheer force of their charismatic personalities to manipulate someone.  This trait is why many people are usually so surprised to find out the truth.


Even worse, when the abuser switches from charm to anger, it's confusing because he/she isn't that way all of the time.  Because of the lies being told to others, and the ability to convince you that you're at fault, doubts about what's going on become the norm, making you question your own judgement. This creates a vicious cycle, making it even more difficult to leave.  Then there is the fear.

But the abuser is a person who may have been abused, or enjoys the feeling of power and control when hurting someone.  This person has many insecurities that may not be readily visible, and causing you to suffer.

Emotional abuse is absolutely considered domestic violence, so please speak to someone you trust about what is going on.  

Emotional abuse includes being cheated on or lied about, gaslighting, being degraded publicly or privately, having funds withheld or being threatened. If there's no one you trust, contact a domestic violence shelter which has people available 24 hours a day to offer assistance and/or counseling.

You don't deserve to be belittled and humiliated, or to make excuses any longer for someone who's supposed to be in love with you.  You shouldn't have to walk on eggshells in any situation. Please seek help for you and your family, when you feel that you can safely.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline is: 800-799-7233
If you live in Wake County, NC  Call InterAct:  919-828-3005
                                              or 866-291-0853
If you love in Harnett County, NC Call Safe:  910-893-7233

Someone is available at these numbers 24 hours a day, and they are available to offer support and guidance.




12 comments:

  1. There are many different forms of abuse...emotional abuse can be a tough one. Often someone doesn't realize it's happening until it's too late.

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    1. You are so right Stephanie. Many still don't understand about this. Hugs...Ro

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  2. Thank you for sharing this important information.

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    1. Angela, I appreciate your support so very much! Hugs...

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  3. I HEART this post so much Ro! Through every word you wrote I can FEEL how passionate you are about this and I think it's brilliant you're taking a stand and trying to help those who can't help themselves. People go though this everyday and it's such a shame (and rather creepy) how people have an on/off switch, being able to change their personalities like that at a drop of a dime. It's downright spooky!
    Let's just keep praying for them girl that the Lord show them the right way and get them out of their terrible situation! Great post as always Ro! ♡ Do you have Twitter or Goodreads?

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    1. Hey Keionda, you're so wonderful! You've absolutely hit the nail on the head. Abusers have the ability to fool so many people that make it so difficult for victims to get the support needed. They often end up looking crazy or like the bad guy. You're right, it takes much faith and prayer. I have Twitter and Goodreads but haven't been on them for a while. (lol) We were just talking about this on one of my posts where a young person said only old people are on Facebook and that I'm supposed to be on Twitter. (lol) He's an adorable kid trying to guide me properly. lol!!!!!! Hugs....and thanks for your support and kudos!

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  4. I've know a lot of assholes like this, and sadly most people even when confronted with the reality of who they really are turn their backs on the problem an ignore what's goin on. There should be a better support an living facility for people needing help. Talking to an abuser doesn't work, an they'll always try to force themselves back into your life. But that's neither here nor there, this is a great post Ro. <3

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    1. Oh yes, you've hit the nail on this one Little Lanie. They do manage to come back, and are difficult to get rid of. Sadly, we all know people like this in life. BIG Hugs...

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  5. I think the fact that the victim can often be a strong person to start with makes it even more difficult for them to try to find help, too. Because they are used to being able to take care of themselves and their problems on their own. And also since their confidence was usually never a problem, suddenly feeling lesser must make everything both confusing and scary.
    Thanks for sharing this awesome post!
    Hugs
    Lexxie @ (un)Conventional Bookviews

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    1. That's a really good point, Lexxie and never thought of that. Makes total sense. Hugs right back!

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  6. When I was receiving my abuse and neglect trainings, this was the hardest form of abuse to pinpoint and have clear observable evidence from our point of view because the marks aren't visible on the skin. I'm glad to see your article addressing it.

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    1. You're so right, Sophia! People tend to not take it seriously, and the person being abused is so confused, making things worse. Thanks for your support! Hugs...

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