Thursday, August 10, 2017

WHAT'S THE WACKIEST THING YOU'VE DONE AT WORK?

Back in the day, it was a well known secret that I would play practical jokes on just about anyone at work, and sometimes it caused me to get into trouble. (lol)  No way could I get away with any of this now, and would be immediately terminated.


I put soap in the bathroom that turned your hands black.  I smeared vaseline on the customer service phones so they would stick to their ears, and once I called a 900 number (can you still make those anymore?) and transferred it to another person so they could hear some really raunchy sex talk.  
I laughed so hard as she called over all the rest of the service reps to listen.  I always wondered why she didn't just hang up the phone. (lol)


But the one time I got pats on the back and lots of thumbs ups was when I hired a stripper for my boss's birthday. 

At the time, I was an assistant to this tiny beautiful bombshell with a killer walk and a brilliant mind. She knew everything there was to know about the cable industry, and eventually worked her way up to become a vice president. She was also hooked on coca cola and came in every morning at 7:50am with a Giant Gulp from the 7-11. She had a really neat sense of humor, unless you screwed up. So if *Audrey power walked from her office back to the customer service area, everyone knew that somebody was in trouble.  

Eventually, she and I became really close, but I was a kid and liked to shock her. (lol)  One day, I got permission from Audrey's boss to hire a stripper for her 30th birthday, and I did the happy dance. After collecting money from her staff and all the managers, I hired this stripper who came dressed as an exterminator.  Yep, when he came in, she showed him where to spray, then went back to her office without a clue..


Meanwhile, almost every employee tried to find a way to peek into the office or hang out in the hallway while this was going on, and it was hard for me to control myself while this guy walked around faking it.  Eventually, he went back into the office to give her this fraudulent bill, and asked her to walk with him to get her approval.  


By then, there was this chair in the middle of the customer service department.  Somehow, this gorgeous guy got in front of her, ripped off his uniform,(he wore a thong) picked her up, put her on that chair, and by now, nearly 150 people squeezed into the office to see the show. He grinded, danced and smiled until she was red all over, and I clapped with glee.  She was a really good sport about it and loved her cake at the end.

All my friends and family were so glad when I outgrew this phase, and could rest easy that I wouldn't eventually end doing something so ludicrous I couldn't recover.

Ironically, now I'm the total opposite and very laid back.  No strippers and no wild jokes.  Just give me a really good book or movie to watch, and a cheeseburger.


But what about you?  What's the craziest thing you've ever done?

16 comments:

  1. I am/was fairly dull at work. However one day a less dull co-worker was showing off the sex toys which he had just picked up from the post office. He had set them jiggling and whirring across the counter. A big boss came in. A humourless big boss. I swept the toys into the box which jiggled across the counter. I managed not to laugh - and explained nothing.

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    1. OMG EC. I don't know if I would have been able to hold it together because that just sounds too funny! Kudos to you! Hugs...

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  2. I can't remember doing anything like that when I worked in an office. I'm not much of a prankster. I did help someone decorate someone's office for a birthday--the thing you do where you Saran Wrap everything on the person's desk and stuff his/her office with paper from the shredder. I remember one time some coworkers did that for our director and he laughed, but he seemed annoyed about it. He made them stay and clean it all up. They were going to do that anyway, but he wasn't a good sport like other people were.

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    1. LOL! That reminds me of when I was a Customer Service Director and was leaving to move to another state. My entire staff decorated my car lovingly in tissue paper and beer cans. I laughed about that a lot. They also decorated a purple t-shirt with farewell messages that made me really cry. I still have that shirt and it's almost 25 years later. I wonder if your director thinks about those days and maybe smiles a little now that it's all over. (lol) Hugs...

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    1. When I was a kid, I was pretty much always doing crazy stuff, and explains why I'm so laid back now. I guess. (lol)

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  4. I was never that wild, especially at work. I've had plenty of lap dances in the past, but I never went to strip clubs with buddies or in a huge group. Nor the big bachelor party thing either as a guest or the groom. I didn't even like it in the places that had a large room instead of individual booths. Kind of kills the mood to have other people looking at you.

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    1. Ugh..no lap dances for me, Adam(lol), but when I was a kid I went to a strip club to see what it was like. These days I wouldn't go to a strip club because I'd be too embarrassed in a booth or with a group. My friends know not to even ask. (lol) I'm totally different from how I was as a kid.

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  5. Oh my goodness! I'm surprised you didn't get fired. LoL Although that stripper story is epic! I'm sure the guy had a huge laugh at the fact that she had no clue why he was really there. Ha!

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    1. LOL! Back then Kristin, things were really really lax, because it was still a relatively small company, and I was a kid. In the cable world now, that never would have happened. They would have cut me off right in mid question if I tried to ask.(lol) The pretend bug guy did laugh quite a bit,which I happened to see firsthand because I had to pay him. (lol) Hugs and Happy Saturday!

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  6. I never did anything to compare to your stripper story RO.

    I was training a guy to work as a serviceman at the water company, for some reason he was terrified of the woman who lived next door to me, so I wrote up a service order to contact the customer at her address and to let her know that her service was being shut off, the reason for shutting her water off was undecided so he had to explain it to her beforehand.

    We pulled up in front of her house and this guy was sweating bullets, she came out the front door to meet him, I winked at her and mouthed "play along", she let him talk and then tore into him, to make a long story short after about ten minutes I let him off the hook, she gave him a hug and this started a series of practical jokes between he and I the whole time we worked together.

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    1. OMG Jimmy, that sounds just too fun! I wish I would have been a fly on the wall to see that. To have a friend to play jokes with just sounds priceless! Happy Saturday! Hugs...RO

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  7. Oh shucks. I can't remember anything crazy that I've done. I was pretty much a tow the line kind of kid. I remember going out on dates and always calling home if I was going to be a few minutes late from curfew.

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    1. My mother was super strict, so if she told me to be in the house at a certain time, I definitely followed instructions. (lol) That didn't stop me from playing jokes on people though, which drive everyone bonkers. *heh* My mom would have loved for you to be my friend. Any kid who got into trouble with their parents she disavowed quickly. (lol) Happy Saturday!

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  8. When I was working I was usually one of the few females in the department and I looked young so I was extra serious. Looks like I missed out on all kinds of crazy fun!

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    1. I remember working at a women's clothing store, and customer were always surprised to know that I was one of the salespeople, so I can totally relate. I laugh a lot now that I'm older, but I'm not doing anything crazy to get into trouble. (lol) Happy Saturday!

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