Sunday, December 21, 2014

ABUSE IN A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT LOVE

The holidays mean so much to many people as we prepare large meals, purchase creative gifts, or simply reminisce about family memories.

Yet the neighbor next door is beaten every day because dinner wasn't hot enough. A customer cowers in fear and embarrassment while being called stupid and fat in the aisles of Wal-Mart. A highly paid executive has been publicly humiliated during an exclusive dinner party. A friend is being cheated on over and over again.

Someone you sit next to on the subway, eat dinner with at a restaurant, or rings up your groceries at Food Lion is wounded. Someone in your family is facing a challenge you may never possibly imagine.

So many people pass judgment on victims of domestic violence, not understanding why they stay, or what they go through. When someone does decide to come forth, the gaslighting that has occurred in the relationship causes a few not to believe the stories, making it even more difficult for the victim to leave. Also the loss of financial stability and the possibility of homelessness are real fears

It may take a victim 6 or 7 times to leave and stay away, but that doesn't mean that the blame should be placed on anyone other than the abuser who is 100% accountable for these heinous actions.

Domestic violence is an often silent or private crime of control and manipulation. During the holidays, the situation may even get worse. If you haven't heard from your family member or friend for quite some time and there always seems to be an excuse, please make a conscious effort to reach out to offer your support, keeping in mind that safety is important. It may seem as if your words are not being listened to, but something you say today, next week or even a month from now may make a difference. Sometimes, all you can do is listen or offer a shoulder to cry on. Something you say may save a life. Help us to create survivors by talking about this and saying "No More", instead of sweeping it under the carpet.

Love is NOT supposed to hurt either physically or emotionally.

1-800-799-7233 National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-500-1119 Statewide Domestic Violence Hotline in Florida
1-800-650-6522 Domestic Violence Hotline in Alabama
1- 805-656-1111 Domestic Violence Hotline in California/Hispanic# 800-300-2181
1-910-893-7233 SAFE of Harnett County, NC