According to Real Simple Magazine who took a poll from 356 teachers, 255 of them say they received an apple on their desk. One teacher even shared that she received one with a bite taken out of it! (lol)Anywho, as a nerd, I loved school and didn't mind reading those assigned novels or reports that most of my friends dreaded. At an all female high school, we somehow mastered the art of carrying all those books from class to class on 3 different floors without tripping over ourselves and others. Despite having to sit through chemistry, school was fun and I enjoyed it.
Fast forward to today, and I haven't met many kids who actually like school, but there are some. It's simply accepted as something that has to be done so they don't get in trouble. When I ask about favorites, I'm laughingly reminded that art, gym or study hall are the classes of choice these days.
Sadly, many students are plagued with bullying. Let's just put it out there. Bullying is simply another term for abuse, and abuse is all about control. In addition to coping with acne, peer pressure, the need for good grades, working for extra cash, etc., many are faced with the senseless need of others to control them. If they dare to be different by reading books and loving it, or dressing against the trend, not only are they ostracized, but often treated cruelly. Many of us can remember these days when we were in high school and it's never fun. Even worse, our children may never even pass on what's going on! These feelings of inadequacy and hurt can even stretch into adulthood. Hugs and listening, then taking action when necessary can help. Everyone wants to be loved, appreciated and validated whenever possible. 
The phrase of the day is - Easy Does It. If you live somewhere right now where even the air conditioner isn't cool enough, and it's just too dang hot, this is the perfect recipe.
HERBED CRAB SALAD-STUFFED AVOCADOS
In a medium bowl, whisk together 1/2 cup mayonnaise, 2 tablespoons basil or chives, 1 teaspoon red wine vinegar and a pinch of pepper. Smash 2 chopped cloves garlic with a pinch of salt, then whisk the paste into the mayonnaise mixture. Stir in 8 ounces lump crabmeat and 1/3 cup chopped celery. Divide among 4 pitted avocado halves. You're all set!
Thank you for this great -- and important -- post.
ReplyDeleteYou're quite welcome Angela and hope you're having an awesome weekend! Hugs...Ro
DeleteMy daughter is going on grade 9 and going to a completely different school this September. She knows no one there. None of her friends are going there. This terrifies me. :/
ReplyDeleteI know that high school can be a scary time for us as parents, (boy, do I remember those days!) yet an exciting time for the kids. All we can do is hope for the best and be there for support as needed, and believing that all will be ok. Keep us posted and BIG Hugs...
DeleteI was bullied all through middle school and finally got so sick of it that I started going to the gym the summer before I started high school and I learned to defend myself by joining the girls wrestling team. My first month of high school one of the girls who had picked on me for years tried it again and when she pushed me down while I was carrying my lunch..I got up and beat the crap out of her. I busted her nose, she pulled out two earring in one ear and one in my other ear and we both got suspended for a week and I had to go to the ER to have my ears repaired but I thought it was worth it because she never tried picking on me again. While this might not be the solution for others, it was mine.
ReplyDeleteGoodness, to be mistreated like that all through middle school must have been horrible. I bet she thinks about those days now that she's an adult with regret, and wishes she could apologize for treating you so badly. Big Hugs...
DeleteBullying is a huge problem. . . and it doesn't have to be. It's possible to create a school culture where the acceptable norm is kindness, caring, and respect, and the students themselves use peer pressure (positively) to enforce it. I know, because my (admittedly very small) high school managed it. But it takes some time to establish that culture, to teach kids how to say positive things about and to other people, and to make it clear that bullying and ostracizing other students will not be tolerated, not even once. And it requires a complete buy-in by the teachers and administration - who may, in some cases, be using bullying or sarcasm techniques themselves, and may not know how to change their own behavior, so you have to start with them: teaching them how to validate and uplift other people instead of putting them down. (At my school, it was probably easier because as a private school, they only hired people who were of a similar mindset when it comes to this issue.)
ReplyDeleteThis is brilliant and I wish it could be utilized everywhere! Kindness and respect are so important to minimize feelings of sadness and hurt. You're right! Abuse, bullying and cruelty should not be tolerated in school and in life in general. Totally love your positive vibes and happy weekend! Hugs...
DeleteI forgot to add that bullying - mostly emotional - is the main reason we pulled our daughter out of public school in middle school, and homeschooled her through high school. She's now in college, but still aware of how that experience scarred her, and grateful that homeschooling was an option.
ReplyDeleteIt's great that the option was available for you and many more parents are doing the same these days. Abuse of any kind sadly leaves scars. All we can do is continue to offer love and support, advice and guidance. Hugs...
DeleteIt sucks that school is like that these days. I don't remember bullying being too much of an issue at our school. Of course there were some kids who were just jerks but not like some today thankfully.
ReplyDeleteAnd that is too funny about getting an apple with a bit taken out. lol
You're so right Anna. The things we see on television or hear about from friends and family can be so horrific and my heart goes out to anyone who suffers from being mistreated. I know, right? (lol) A half eaten apple on the desk sounds really tasty. Hugs...
DeleteYes Ro! Bullying is such a huge problem!! And it's amazing how many kids are bullied and judged for being who they are which then in turn makes them hesitant to even want to try to be the eve's so they then into something they're not. Where's the fun in that? I went to school with a girl that was bullied all because of a birthmark she had on her cheek. It wasn't funny. I befriended her and we're still friends to this day.
ReplyDeleteMany parents encourage their children to embrace who they are whatever that may be, yet peer pressure from others, or the need to be seen still rears its ugly head as bullying continues. I mean, come on - a birthmark? What the heck? Glad you went against the norm and made an awesome friend for life! Hugs...
DeleteBullying is horrible issue going on right now and it's because parents aren't doing their jobs right.
ReplyDeleteWe can never say this enough. Bullying someone who is attempting to gain an education and may not who another person thinks is cool, is the pits and sad. No one should have to cope with that...ever. Hugs...
DeleteBullying is so horrible, I think we need to address what causes a bully to act that way..most bullies have issues with self-esteem etc. If we can address their issues we can decrease the problem. Parental involvement is key too..
ReplyDeleteYou're so right, Kim and I totally agree. Why does someone bully another person? Is it based on insecurity or fear? Knowing that and helping children to work through it is hopefully one of the ways to stop the cruel treatment of others. Hugs...
DeleteBullying is not good period, and I don't think anybody wants to be at the bullied end. What hurts me the most is those victims who aren't as assertive to fight back, report, or stand up for themselves so they end up committing suicide or acting out. In asmuch as we're promoting anti-bullyin, I think it's imperative that we teach kids self-worth too.
ReplyDeleteHello! Self-worth is so important, Braine, and when it's missing may in fact lead to behavior that has everyone scratching their heads, and wondering what happened. We see these same feelings exhibited in victims/survivors of domestic violence, who have been conditioned to believe that they don't deserve better. Being abused or bullied is such a tragedy to see on the news, hear about from friends, or to experience personally. Hugs...
DeleteI was wondering why my stepdaughter is so concerned about what everyone else is wearing--she won't buy any clothes that aren't in line with what her friends wear. She'll say things like, "Everyone makes fun of people who do that." I thought maybe it was her school and someone said, "Kids in school are so MEAN today, everyone's afraid of doing anything that isn't 100 percent conformist." How sad. My husband is convinced reality TV is what is making everyone so mean.
ReplyDeleteHere I am a zillion years later, and peer pressure still makes kids do things they may or may not wish to do in order to conform to what is considered the norm. Those who dare to be different, or themselve are often ostracized, and that saddens me. Some of the things we see on tv can be a little crazy too! Hugs...
Delete