Thursday, July 6, 2017

DO YOU KNOW A SOCIAL MEDIA BULLY?

I'm a fan of Ed Sheeran and listen to his music often.  He just seems like such a kind person from what I've seen, and his music is amazing. Imagine my surprise when he recently said in an interview with The Sun that he's quitting Twitter because he was cyberbullied by Lady Gaga's fans due to a misunderstanding.
Many took that to mean he was deleting his account.  What he really meant is that while there are plenty of positive things happening, he just want to focus on the things he enjoys seeing like Harry Potter.  He's not actually deleting his account.


Twitter can be super funny, but it can also go badly very quickly with 140 characters or less. 

As parents, we are horrified when our kids come home to tell us they have been bullied, and right away we want to fix it.  The thought of someone hurting our family physically or verbally makes us cringe inside.  In fact, according to www.standforthesilent.org,  55,000 children over the past 7 years have committed suicide due to bullying!

But when we as adults disagree with a political post, the shape of someone's body, or whether Ryan Lochte was or wasn't robbed, we lose our minds and go on the attack with perfect strangers!  No one is expected to agree with what everyone says - that's what makes the world go round, but dang it, why in the world do we start calling people hateful names or threaten to come to their homes and beat them up? 

The initial reason that I started using Facebook was to enter sweepstakes.  Then I realized there were a zillion authors out there that actually interacted with other readers.  Very cool! When I started this Blog, Social Media just seemed like the next step. Within this platform we see verbal attacks from authors to bloggers, political rants that are over the top, or people who don't like curvy women to post pics of themselves.  The list goes on and on and on. Facebook even has a page called Mean Insult Quotes with over 11,000 members.

Let's be honest.  Most people are not going to start a vicious fight in person due to a disagreement with someone else, but it does happen.  If we know that our views cause us to become passionate and crazy, we should do an Austin Powers and zip our lips.  That doesn't seem to happen with Social Media.  We type, the other person types, we think about typing, and then we're typing and sending again,  posting our feelings for all to see.  Forgetting that these heinous words depict portraits of our character as surely as if we wrote an autobiography. Those words will NEVER go away.

We shouldn't care if a person is pink or green, gay or straight, a little person or 7 feet tall, Catholic or Lutheran, curvy or thin. What should matter are our hearts and how we treat each other even when we disagree.
Each person has his or her own personal beliefs, and surely those points of views are not going to change when someone gets cursed out or degraded in print.  Some people deal with this by ignoring those posts, others jump on the bandwagon, and a few just get blocked.

But I go back to the fourth paragraph of this post.  We don't want to see our children, friends or family hurt by bullying, right?  Bullying in any way that it's done is abuse. It's painful, not funny or cute, 
and it's wrong.




56 comments:

  1. Yep, I have run across some pretty opinionated people in my feed and I have zero tolerance for bullies. You don't have to agree but you need to respectfully state you opinion. I am often amazed at the way in which we respond to each other via media.

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    1. Ditto on that one Kool Kim. What happened to the respect?

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  2. Very important post. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Angela, you are always so supportive and I love ya! Hugs...

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  3. This is so true and sometimes a super hard topic for people to talk about. I know how upset I was when my little cousin came home, telling me that some kids had been bullying her at school. I was pleased that she didn't allow them to and knew to take up for herself but at the end of the day, it's scary and so sad to think about. :(

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    1. Sadly, it's a tough topic, and sometimes we feel at a loss of how to handle it. Kudos to your cousin for hanging in there. Give her some HUGE Hugs from me!

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  4. Bully...asshole. Eh. I think sometimes bully is overused these days. Like a lot of hot topic words. I do know a number of social media assholes who really let it show over politics. I've been called some hateful things and blocked a number of people. They weren't what I'd call bullying. They're just sucky people who are jerks.

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    1. You said, Anna! Sometimes people are just mean, and have no control. I'm not going to lose my temper over politics or anything else for that manner on social media. Don't want my name out there for the world to see me acting like a butt! (lol)

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  5. We are twinsies b/c I recently posted about this, too, after getting frustrated that people get out of hand on social media. So glad to see you addressing this, Ro. We really do need to find a way to express an opinion and receive opinions without being jerks about it as Anna says.

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    1. I remember your prolific post Super Sophia and loved it because it was right on point! I was watching a program where a celebrity has a son who is being bullied, which was so hard to imagine. Then I thought about all the rants I've been seeing on Twitter and Facebook, and even some other celebrity blogs. Some of those comments towards people I'm sure they don't know were shocking. But bullying a child is even worse. That suicide rate is horrific! Love ya!

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  6. I try not to get involved in the political posts on fb and such. I try not to get into social media fights but I have a big personality and some things really bother me and I say so at times. I think it's ok to have a different opinion than other people, it's how you go about stating your opinion that gets out of hand.

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    1. I totally agree about not getting into the social media fights. Just not worth it. Like you, I believe in having a difference of opinion in a calm manner before attacking a person's character. It's all in how it's handled.

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  7. I am sick of seeing the nasty insults on both sides of the political fence, as well as the generalizations people throw around as if every Republican or Democrat is a stereotype.

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    1. I agree. No need for rude or hurtful behaviors and words that can't be taken back. Hugs...

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  8. I'm in a few Facebook groups and the behavior of some people amazes me. Mostly the trolls are the perplexing ones. They go in and deliberately post something they know will get people riled up, then sit back and laugh. What's the point in that?

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    1. I don't get it either, Steph. It's not fun, and just gives off a bad image to the person, particularly as adults. I often wonder if this type of behavior happens while they are in the workplace or at a party. Crazy!

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  9. Social media just escalated and evolved bullying into a different level altogether. It starts with your relationship with your kids, they should feel safe to tell you if they're being picked on without the fear of being criticized for being weak. Consequently, we should not be biased to our children's behavior, we should call them out when it's obvious that they're being mean. Picking on someone, regardless if it's for their fashion sense or some shit, shouldn't be condoned. That's just a jerk move period

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    1. You are so right that it's evolved, and it saddens me. Kids should feel safe, and allowed to attend school without the added pressure of being bullied. And as parents, we definitely need to set the example. Doing crazy things on Facebook/Twitter and laughing about it, with the possibility of our kids and their friends seeing those posts is just the pits! Hugs...

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  10. I wish there was a way to stop bullying altogether and the internet and social media only have seemed to make it easier as people type without thinking and then it's on the internet before you know it. I wish people in general would be a bit less judging and more open minded.

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    1. You are so right. Once we hit that send button, it's out there and the damage is done, glaring in lights for us all to see. I agree, open-mindedness is key. I may not agree with something being said or done, but I'm not paying anyone else's bills (lol), so I have no right to be judging . (lol) I can learn a lot from some of those differences love and keep it movin'. " Can't we all just get along?" Hugs...

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  11. It's hard to imagine adults can school children on cyberbullying when it's so rampant on social media. I know lots of authors who shut down comments just to avoid that. Me, I monitor them and refuse to publish those that don't add to the conversation (meaning their main evidence rhymes with 'you're an idiot to think that way').

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    1. Hey Jacqui! I'm so thrilled you stopped by to say hello. I definitely agree with you. Kids use social media more than we do in many instances to communicate and find out news, and the mean-spirited behavior is global. I totally agree with you, and that's a great way to stop it in its tracks before something not relevant and hateful gets out there for the world to see. Kudos! HUGE Hugs...

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  12. It is so sad that social media has become another platform for bullying. I don't get it. How can demeaning someone and making them feel bad, make you feel better?

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    1. It never ceases to amaze me. I actually saw a comment where someone threatened to come and kill that person's mother! Crazy!

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  13. PS Kudos for shining a light on this, Ro.

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    1. Sandra, you're the most supportive person! Topics like these aren't always popular, but I hope it makes a difference for someone. Hugs...

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  14. Hi Ro - couldn't agree more - it's so unfair and so unthinking ... thankfully I've managed to stay away - and I won't post ridiculous or spam comments - they get deleted immediately. Also I don't acknowledge them - in fact with anything I try not to acknowledge if it's something I'm not at all happy with ... it's easier not to react ... cheers Hilary

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    1. Hey There Hilary and thanks for stopping by! I agree, ignoring it, or not even allowing it on your page sounds best to avoid any more negative feedback. Love it! Hugs and Happy Friday!

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  15. I'm quite opinionated but I think people can have a discussion about differences without it going right to insults. So many times though people go right to insulting each other and it's ridiculous. Then there are some people who like to insult people and cause drama. My younger brother is like that which is why he can't see most of my fb posts.

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    1. We love you Mary, and being opinionated makes life interesting and fun. I totally agree with you - insulting people and hurting someone's feelings is just too much, particularly with a stranger. Hugs and Happy Friday!

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  16. Well, I'm sorry, but there's a certain president out there who isn't using his social media account in a decent way...
    I love my Facebook and Instagram, and I am lucky to be surrounded by kind people. So far my son has been able to shrug off other kids' attempts of harassing him, and I am glad, hope he can keep his chin up.

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    1. It's always wonderful when the people we are around are so friendly and helpful. It can make all the difference in the world. It's particularly difficult to see it with our young people. Thank goodness that your son is rising above the nonsense. He sounds like a fab young man! Thanks for stopping by and Happy Friday! Hugs...

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  17. Worth a reprise post. Bullying is abuse and it can kill so it definitely needs to be addressed. Thanks, lady, for holding the line. :)

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    1. I knew you would remember Super Sophia. (lol) I saw something on Twitter the other day that flabbergasted me, so I had to repost. I couldn't believe this person could be so cruel. You're right. Abuse is abuse, and it definitely can kill. Hugs...

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  18. Bullies, trolls, all are idiots

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    1. They are all on the naughty list for sure. Hugs...

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  19. You hit the nail on the head with this post, I agree with you 100%, this social media stuff has really gotten out of hand especially on Facebook (sorry this is the only one I have), where as you described they are fighting on everything from politics to the size of their flip flops, where if they were face to face most of it would be a non issue. I mainly stick to blogging because Facebook is simply to much of a drag for me.

    I sure enjoyed my visit, Thank you for posting such an important issue.

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    1. I hear you Jimmy! Who in the world cares if I wear a size 2 shoe and yours is a 2 1/2, right? lol Why can't we all just get along and talk about some cool stuff? Always happy when you stop by for a visit! Hugs...

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  20. Yes, bullying is wrong.
    I have never figured out twitter. I have an account and when I post on my blog of FB I think it shows up there. But that is all I know.

    Thank you for your kind comment on my art blog.

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    1. Your art is so cool and thrilled that you stopped by! Some crazy things happen on Twitter for sure. Hugs...

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  21. Blessings
    It's interesting how "Adult" exocise their selves from accountability in regards to child bullying when they are the template for which children are modelling. Children mimic it is how they learn yet adults, media etc, points the finger only at them for the pandemic we are in as a society as bully adapt to varying social media platforms. Sadly none of this is new or news, people just want to pretend it is to escape taking responsibility. What is different is now is the cap is off the lens have and the spotlight on human irresponsibility, nastiness and willful vendictiveness against those they designate"undesirable", a form of "hilterish" eugenics on an individual scale.

    One Great example, media bullying targeting celebrities who have gained weight- fat shaming.

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    1. Great points. We often learn from our parents, and yes celebrities do their share of shaming making things worse. So glad you stopped by! Always appreciate your views. Hugs...

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  22. I dislike bullies. They are cowards who prey on people who are weaker than them. Cyber bullies are bigger cowards because they behind a computer to carry out reign of terror.

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    1. I agree, they are definitely short on courage. I'm sure none of them would act the same in person. Hugs...

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  23. I was once on a video game site called 1up and it was pretty far ahead social media wise before even facebook was a thing.

    I was 15 or so when I started, and got cyber-bullied pretty bad there on the forums. The website was in partnership with a popular video game magazine, and I had written 3 little lines in a kind of "contest" where they'd ask a question and you'd try to write a clever/funny/interesting comment and they made it in the magazine.

    I think that really fueled the fire, and I was really shocked that 1up management did nothing about it. It wasn't like FB or TWer where there are more users than a mind can process. One kid went so far to say I had suffered from fetal alcohol syndrome.

    In a glorious stroke of karma, the same kid got really pissed that his sister was going to pose for PB magazine. Not only did he say it to everyone, he even told everyone her name (Joy Glass, his name was William Glass) and it really backfired on him because of course we all got to easily look up the pictures.

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    1. That is a shocker Adam and totally uncalled for because it was clearly visible for all to see. What a horrific statement for him to make, and of course I'm wondering what his life is really like behind the scenes. Of course, I do believe in karma, and I'm pretty sure a lot of things happened to him that had him scratching walls. Now we all know his name so we can stalk him. (lol)

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  24. Amen, RO! I've become very cautious about engaging in discussions on FB and elsewhere, because what should be civil discussion of differing points of view so often degenerates into personal attacks and nastiness.

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    1. I know, right? Why should we walk on eggshells for fear that we'll be attacked by some nut? lol Crazy!

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  25. we are definitely in a different age where bullies roam the screens instead of the streets, Sheeran got an interesting start :street performing.

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    1. I love Ed Sheeran, and you're right, people have such courage behind a screen. Hugs and happy Saturday!

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  26. I didn't know that about Ed Sheeran. That's crazy, but people's fans are so awful sometimes! Do you really think Lady Gaga wants you to be mean to someone else? That's the opposite of how she preaches. Sheesh.

    But yeah, social media bullying is intense. I stay out of things - knock on wood- but it's rough.

    -Lauren
    www.shootingstarsmag.net

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    1. I hear that Lady Gaga's and Demi Lovato's fans can be quite vicious on Twitter. I wonder if they would actually hurt someone in person. (lol) I'm like you and observe. I'm not going to debate with someone online. It's definitely not that serious.

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  27. 55K kids committing suicide is so sad and so wrong. Here's hoping we get a handle on this.
    YOU, have a great Sunday, my friend.
    Hugs,

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    1. It's super scary, and those are just the reported numbers. I fear it could be substantially higher. When my son was in a high school, which was over 20 years ago, a good friend of his hung himself in his bedroom. This kid had been to our home, he hung out with my son, he was funny all the time, and a great sports enthusiast. We we shocked and speechless because we had no clue. His mother barely held it together when she found him. We found out later that he was being bullied and never told anyone. So I agree, it's so sad and so wrong, Sandra.

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  28. Saying mean things on social media is one thing, but it gets really crazy when people 'dox' each other - find out who the user is, publish their full name and address, etc. Scary times to live in. Thankfully, for all the stupid things we've said, no one's ever cared to harass us.

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    1. I actually saw an episode on Law and Order where someone was posting addresses and names, causing them to be physically assaulted. People just take things too far just because they have a difference of opinion. Your blog is clearly funny and edgy which is cool. You're not attacking anyone personally. I actually don't know how you manage to stay so funny (and calm-lol) when people offer some strange responses on your blog. You're clearly a class act, and that's pretty dang awesome.

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