Sunday, November 9, 2014
14 REASONS IT SOMETIMES SUCKS TO BE A GRANDMOTHER!
So here I am – a grandmother, but not necessarily by choice!
1. When a baby is first born, we're expected to automatically say he/she is cuddly and adorable, but really, we're cringing inside over the lack of hair and wrinkly face.
2. We're expected to spend a ton of cash on gifts. Uh...you guys make a lot more money than we do.
3. Babysitting for 2 hours suddenly turns into an all night slumber party, despite your best efforts to fall asleep. Any attempts to reach your children by phone now mysteriously go straight to voicemail. When they do finally show up, the excuse is, "I forgot to charge my phone and didn't get your message". Uh...yeah right.
4. We're supposed to be the resident expert on anything that goes wrong with the baby, so calls in the middle of the night which include fevers, a runny nose, coughing, being potty trained, not liking a certain type of food, getting up in the middle of the night, breastfeeding, teething etc.,are frequent. How in the heck should we know? We thought you young people just googled everything anyway!
5. Being spit up on is the greatest thing to happen since sliced bread. Really? We may laugh and say it's okay, but inwardly, we are not amused that the baby doesn't like that mashed up baby food and would rather throw it across the floor that was just recently mopped or at us.
6. Just for the record - those strollers, carriages, or whatever you wish to call them are expensive and cumbersome! Even worse, we can never figure out how to fold the dang thing to get it in the car, and we have no clue how to unfold it to take the kid for a walk in the mall or neighborhood park. Speaking of strollers, what kid in his or her right mind wants to stay in them anyway? Also, when did the world change so these new strollers have multiple functions? I don't get it.
7. Stopping the feeding process to burp a baby who is finally falling asleep after already being up all night is just plain mean.
8. The clothes we spent 100's of dollars on because you think we're an ATM, sit in a drawer until we ask about a specific outfit, only to find out you gave it away because the grandbaby grew two sizes. Huh?
9. Why does it take so long to figure out a name? Why does it have to be exotic? Can anyone even pronounce the name you finally figured out?
10. NO, we do not want to change your baby's diaper! Cloth diapers, Pampers, Huggies, etc.It doesn't matter. His/her poop is not cute, and it smells even worse.
11. Did I mention that we DO NOT want to babysit for an hour, 5 hours, and definitely NOT overnight?
12. We are automatically supposed to know when the baby should walk and talk. I refer you back to List Item #4 and my response is the same.
13. – We cannot understand a word the kid is saying until you translate, and then you have the nerve to get angry because we have to ask what's being said over and over again. Sorry, but the words you said she/he said didn't sound like that all, so are you just making it up?
14. Don't know how it happened, but I am now stuck with the name, “Grammy,” until the end of time or until I die - whichever comes first.