Tuesday, April 7, 2015


"So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, then drop it. You’re just afraid to let go of the last bits of him because then you’ll be really alone, and you’re scared to death of what will happen if you’re really alone. But here’s what you gotta understand. If you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using right now to obsess about this guy, you’ll have a vacuum there, an open spot – a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with the doorway? It will rush in – God will rush in – and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using that boy to block that door. Let it go."
— Eat, Pray, Love (Elizabeth Gilbert
shared via the very wonderful author Megan Hart from her Facebook Page
***it doesn't apply just to guys.

I read the above post from Ms. Hart and thought it was awesome, and it got me to thinking.  If you're in (or have been in) an abusive relationship, you've already heard the expectations of friends and family.  "Why don't you leave?" "How can you still love him/her after all you've been through?" "What's wrong with you?"  To be honest, all those questions make a lot of sense, yet a sensible mind may not always match up with a hopeful heart, and therein lies the problem.
Wouldn't it be so simple to just 'turn off' whatever feelings still exist?  Don't you just wish all that love would just go away? Really, you're not that type of person.  Commitment means something, doesn't it? Maybe the love is already gone, yet you have no idea of where to go, who to trust, where money will come from, or how your children will survive.  
Despite the odds, getting away is best.  For your own peace of mind, the safety of your family, and the chance to live the life you deserve, you're done.
The shelter isn't home, your parents offer advice almost all day, your friends insist you go out to meet someone new, you're crying your eyes out, but all you can do is think about the times that were good, the smiles and the ease of using your own bathroom.  You miss him/her terribly and want to go back.  You want to keep holding on, wishing for that wonderful relationship. Should you?  Should that person get another chance? You cry with the fear of being alone, but despite the pain, every day seems to get easier.  You're embracing the new-found joy of independence.  Eating what you want, speaking with whomever you like, watching something fun on television and laughing.  Now you can sew again.  Go to exercise classes or join that thought-provoking book club.  Doors are opening all over the place in your world, and thoughts of the past are or soon will be a distant memory.
Yes, you're alone - but you're also safe for the first time in years.

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